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Dirge

by Jordan Nix

supported by
Harry P
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Harry P Great songwriting. Simple production and true to the core. Nice work Jordan!
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1.
Shes got a weird rule That we can’t date And we can’t talk Every day But she calls me When she’s lonely Sometimes Shes got a quick way Of thinking Long list of reasons Different reasons Why I can’t stay For too long Before too long It’s Tuesday night she’s slipping again Ask if we can play pretend just one more time If it’s all I get then it’s what I’ll take Knowing better won’t get in the way It should all be fine Cause it’s Tuesday night And she’s on my mind Always on my mind I need a long trip on a fast train To the east coast maybe LA Maybe some where in between Find some room to breathe I need more than a quick trip in a cheap cab In the front seat, wanting you back Take a deep breaths See the phone light And I why Yeah I know why
2.
Head West 03:00
Think I’ll head west for a little while Try to find something to replace your smile As the place of peace that I go in my head Probably gonna take just a little time Before I can close my eyes And not think about my side of your bed Thought that I was through with all my running Felt like it was time to settle down Usually I think that I can kinda see it coming But I didn’t see it coming right now You should keep all the things Along with all the memories The black and whites in picture frames Don’t quite make me feel the same You take the highs and I’ll take the lows Bury them deep in my soul And I won’t speak their name I won’t speak their name
3.
Self doubt and cheap cocaine Blurry nights and road dog days Ain’t quite what I thought growing up would be Keep my mattress on the floor It’s not used what it’s meant for I stare at the ceiling more than I ever sleep Everybody thinks you’re always good always 10 feet tall only feel it bout a quarter of the time, wake up and then it’s gone It’s two parts lonely 1 part sad and a bunch of getting by But there’s a little bit of joy sprinkled in sometimes keeping me alive Two kids that I miss real bad Chasing dreams don’t make good dads And don’t forget about that promise to the lord I keep saying 3 more years And I can get us out of here I’ll make it better than it ever was before
4.
Honey I ain’t the laundry You can’t just do me And then leave me Im tired of the bullshit questions everybodies asking If I wanted to see you naked I could just call you And you’d fake it Leavin me banging my head against the wall wishin i would go blind I’m strung out like a kite Honey I don’t wanna fuss and fight Let’s leave it till the morning and I’d rather die than air it out Tell me what’s the point And yelling words that got no weight The hell we even talking about Don’t say a word and I’ll shut my mouth Don’t say a word and I’ll shut my mouth Funny thing about screaming it don’t lead to leaving Just need to be louder than the other For once in your life can you just be quiet Facts and truths are treason i ain’t a demon But I know the meanin of “break for a while” means that I can’t change your mind
5.
Not With You 03:59
Out of sight Out of mind Most the time With most things But not with you Well If I could fly Through the night To love someone I would try But not with you Cause we took a couple wrong turns Wish that we could unlearn What it put us through But your still on my mind And I think it should be fine But truth Is I wanna be in love so bad But not with you Gave it time Salt and lime Did the wrong thing Once or twice But not with you If it wasn’t us But some one else Might be enough To subject myself To lovin you But not with you
6.
Well I ask them what they want for dinner same answer ever time Just trying to break the silence on that 13 mile drive From their moms house where we all slept to my new place in town A couple bedrooms by the train tracks It’ll do for now We drive right past my moms place and sometimes we stop in If her truck is in the drive way and I need some help again I cry a little in her bathroom while she swings them in the yard Pull myself together before we put them in car Well I ask them what they want for dinner same answer every time Chicken nuggets and A small fry Juice box sippin with a toy inside best couple hours of my week these days Happy meal Monday at dads place Some times if there’s a good day We might take it to the park Do some climbing and some sliding Till it starts getting dark grab a quick bite head to my house and go to bed after their bath Cause There’s school in the morning then their momma gets them back Well I ask em what they want for dinner same answer every time
7.
Bluebirds 04:43
There’s bakers dozen blue birds sitting on the line I’m looking their way and they’re lookin mine And some thing about the look in their eye Tells me everything is gonna be fine fine fine There’s a 4 leaf clover coming the cracks Ain’t be a thing in the world that would hold it back Poking through the concrete in the nick of time Tells me everything is gonna be fine fine fine It ain’t the best But its good enough stars start to align a little And change my luck There’s more of this hill Still to climb That’d be fine fine fine Well there’s a dark cloud rollin comin cross the sky Give me 6 days of wet for 6 months of dry Let the thunder crash all damn night That’d be fine fine fine fine fine

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released November 23, 2023

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Jordan Nix College Station, Texas

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